How Does A Court Decide Child Arrangements?

When you separate, one of the most difficult and emotional challenges you'll face as parents is deciding where your children will live and how much time they’ll spend with each of you.

If you can’t agree through discussion or mediation, you may have to go to court for a Child Arrangements Order and the judge’s focus is always the same: the child’s best interests.

Understanding what the court looks for, and how to demonstrate that you’re acting in your child’s best interests, can make the process far less daunting.

⚖️ The Legal Framework & The Welfare Checklist

Under Section 1 of the Children Act 1989, judges and Cafcass officers use something called the welfare checklist to decide what arrangements best serve the child’s welfare.

Here’s what the checklist includes:

1️⃣ The child’s wishes and feelings (considered in light of their age and understanding)

2️⃣ Their physical, emotional, and educational needs

3️⃣ The likely effect of any changes in their circumstances

4️⃣ The child’s age, sex, background and any other relevant characteristics

5️⃣ Any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering

6️⃣ How capable each parent is of meeting the child’s needs

7️⃣ The range of powers available to the court

Every decision from where a child lives to how much time they spend with each parent is viewed through this focused list of considerations.

What “Child-Focused” Really Means

Parents will almost always say they’re putting their child first, but in court this needs to be demonstrated through behaviour and planning, not just words.

Here are some practical ways to show a child-focused approach:

• Keep communication calm and respectful. Avoid personal criticism or emotional arguments in written statements or messages.

• Focus on your child’s needs, not your ex-partner’s behaviour. Judges are interested in stability, not blame.

• Be flexible. Showing willingness to compromise demonstrates maturity and co-operation.

• Support your child’s relationship with both parents (unless there are safeguarding concerns). The court values encouragement of positive contact.

• Prepare realistic proposals. Suggest arrangements that work around school, routines,and your child’s wellbeing not what’s most convenient for you.

• Keep records carefully. Notes of communication, school reports and parenting schedules can all show your reliability and organisation.

  
  

Common Misunderstandings About Child Arrangements

Before I went to court, well meaning friends and acquaintances were full of "helpful" advice meaning I definitely went into hearings believing some information that was completely incorrect. So, regardless of how well-informed your neighbour tells you she is, here are a few common misunderstandings that you should be aware of.

❌ “The court will always favour the mother.” This is not true. The law does not presume one parent is better suited than the other. Decisions are based solely on the child’s welfare.

❌ “Children can choose for themselves which parent to live with.” Children’s wishes are important, but they’re only one part of the welfare checklist. The court balances their views with their overall needs and stability.

❌ “I need to demonstrate that the other parent is unfit.” In most cases, the court isn’t looking for fault,

it’s looking for co-operation. Only serious safeguarding concerns should be raised.

❌ “If I go to court, I’ll get a quick decision.” Court proceedings can take months or even years. Mediation or negotiation is often faster and less stressful, if it’s safe and appropriate to try. It's also significantly less expensive.

How to Prepare If You’re Going To Court

If you are preparing for a hearing, here are a few tips to help you:

• Stay organised - have your paperwork ready and make sure your proposals are clear.

• Keep your tone calm and factual in all documents.

• Stay focused on what’s best for your child’s wellbeing and stability.

  
  

The court recognises that representing yourself is challenging. Showing preparation, self-control, and genuine concern for your child’s needs will always strengthen your case.

Family court decisions should never be about who “wins” or “loses”, they need to be about creating a future where your child can thrive. By keeping your focus on your child’s wellbeing, co-operating where possible and preparing carefully, you’ll demonstrate exactly what the court is looking for: a calm, capable parent who puts their child first.