Christmas Parenting Plans: How to Keep Stress Low and Kids First

Christmas should be a magical time for children - but when parents are separated, it can become one of the most emotionally charged periods of the year. Expectations, traditions, travel plans and hurt feelings can all make communication difficult and raise the stakes in an already fragile situation.

If you’re feeling the strain, please know that you’re not alone, and it is possible to create Christmas contact arrangements that feel calmer, clearer and more child-focused.

This guide explains what the Family Court expects, how to negotiate holiday contact, and what to do if you can’t agree.

1. Start With Your Child’s Experience

Before anything else, ask yourself: “What will make my child feel happy, safe and free from stress this Christmas?"

Family Court decisions always come back to:

✔ stability

✔ emotional safety

✔ routine

✔ relationships with both parents

Try to plan Christmas around what supports your child’s emotional wellbeing rather than what meets each parent’s expectations or traditions. Sadly, things are going to have to change once you're separated, but that doesn't mean they have to be miserable or lose any of their magic.

Creating a safe, stable and happy scenario for your child can involve making new traditions and doing things differently. They want to enjoy their time with you both and as a parent, it's important to make that happen wherever possible.

2. Be Clear About Timings Early On

Christmas contact disagreements nearly always come from unclear expectations. So, to avoid any last minute tensions, sort out:

• Times and dates

• Pick-up and drop-off details

• Who has Christmas Eve / Christmas Day / Boxing Day

• Travel arrangements

Try and be flexible wherever you can - it nearly always diffuses tension.

3. Keep Communication Short and Neutral

A simple structure helps:

• One question per message

• Don’t revisit old disagreements

• Stick to discussing the children only

• Avoid emotional or accusatory language

Neutral communication = less conflict.

4. Common Pitfalls to Avoid

❌ Assuming your usual contact pattern automatically applies

❌ Pressuring your child to choose

❌ Making last-minute changes

❌ Using Christmas to “make a point”

None of the above will benefit you or your child in the long run so do yourself a favour and do everything you can to enable a stress-free festive holiday. Being the bigger (and sometimes, better) person really does pay off.

5. If You Really Can’t Agree on Christmas Parenting Plans

Your options are:

• Try mediation (fastest route)

• Use a parenting communication app

• Make a C100 application - but only if urgent and absolutely necessary.

Court should always be the last resort. It's stressful, expensive and slow!

Christmas can be hard. But when parents focus on their child’s wellbeing and not the conflict, things become much more manageable.